Social Media’s Negative Affect On My Mental Health

Social media’s effects on mental health are back in the spotlight, this time claiming Instagram is harming young girls.

Recently, social media has affected my mental health enough for me to take a break from it.

I started using social media heavily after my daughter was born four years ago. I spent hours sitting in a rocking chair nursing and getting her to sleep. It got boring sometimes, especially at 2 a.m., so I scrolled through my feed, refreshed, and scrolled some more.

I’ve never overshared online, never felt the need to share the daily happenings or a photo of my dinner. I don’t typically comment on posts, only react. Even online, I pretty much keep to myself, but it’s nice to have a way to stay connected to family and friends. So I scrolled.

But this year, I noticed an old habit returning – comparing myself to others. “This person went on a trip, and I stay home and don’t do anything. That person is doing something I’d like to do. So-and-so does XYZ with her kids, am I doing enough, am I a good mother?”

I felt terrible about myself and as though I wasn’t good enough for anyone. My self-esteem suffered. I experienced FOMO, and my anxiety and depression slowly became worse. The negative voice returned, telling me I couldn’t do anything right, and those thoughts became intrusive. Suddenly I felt like a teenager again – insecure and full of self-loathing. I hated who I was as a mother and a wife, and I thought I could do better. After months of this getting worse, I gave myself a mental slap, “What the hell was I doing?” I’ve been through so much and come so far in my recovery; how could I still be this insecure?

Then it hit me. My time on social media contributed to my regression, and I needed to figure out how to stop it.

I decided to wean myself off social media by logging on once my kids were in bed. I don’t want them seeing me on my phone constantly either, so this was a reasonable first step.

Then I decided to only look at social media on Sunday evenings. After about a month, I quit Facebook and Instagram for a week, then two, then three. Then it became a challenge to see how long I could keep going. I was checking the trending news on Twitter, but that didn’t last long as I soon grew weary of the vitriol and honestly never took a liking to Twitter.

It’s been nearly six months since I scrolled through my feeds, and I don’t miss it. I’ve noticed improvements in my mental health; less anxiety, not feeling poorly about myself and everything I do, more time to do things that matter, and my kids don’t see me mindlessly scrolling. I feel more “in the moment,” I’m not thinking about my next post or whether I should share a photo.  I’ve gotten back into photography and writing. I’m more focused on my health and more productive.

I was foolish to think social media wouldn’t one day negatively affect me. With my history of mental health issues, I need to be careful about the content I consume. My brain can easily latch onto an idea and take it too far (i.e., anorexia).

For years, we’ve known the images we see portrayed in the media affect mental health, most notably the “perfect bodies” that were no doubt edited to be free of blemishes and sculpted in an unachievable way. And while the idea of what constitutes a perfect body has changed drastically through the centuries, I can’t help but think social media has exasperated these issues.

The Wall Street Journal recently reported the internal research conducted by Facebook showing they knew Instagram harms teens’ mental health.

The study shows that 32% of girls who felt badly about their bodies felt worse after scrolling through Instagram.

According to the Facebook study, “Across issues…the majority of users felt no impact, but 30% of teen girls also felt that Instagram made dissatisfaction with their body worse.”

And I’m not surprised.

From personal experience, I know if I were a teen right now in the throes of an eating disorder, social media would make things worse. Since people rarely share the bad things happening in their lives, only the good, their lives look unique and perfect. We all have a few friends who are pros at humble bragging. These snapshots are what we compare ourselves to – an online fantasy life, not reality.

Then there are the influencers who post daily about the latest fad diets and push some miracle supplement or new workout on their followers, with their hashtags, perfectly lit photos, and fitspo. Of course, those of us who are more suspectable are going to scroll through and think we’re not good enough.

And as sobering as those Instagram statistics are, it’s important to take into account the nature of the study. It was not a clinical research study. The participants were asked if they had experienced any of the issues on the list in the last 30 days and how Instagram made them feel. Not “did Instagram cause your issue?”

Research on social media effects on mental health is still in its infancy, we are the guinea pigs, and it will be interesting to see in the coming years what researchers find. Yes, there are some positives; it’s a great way to stay in touch with loved ones, it’s a way to connect to people who have the same interests, and it can bring about real-world change. But it also negatively impacts some users. Why do some people seem to be more affected than others? What makes our brains different?

Then to see the effects of these studies, how will social media change? Will we be given more control over the things we see, fewer ads, maybe? Will our perspective of social media and our usage change? Will influencers change to reflect the true norm? Or will it ultimately be down to the user to make changes?

One day I’ll log back on, share a photo and see what my friends are doing. But for now, I’m good. I don’t feel a desire to check my social media. I’m happier this way.

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